Sleep Props
Let’s talk about sleep props. This is one of the most common topics discussed in the baby and sleep training world. So Much of infant sleep rides on whether or not they have sleep props, so what are they? Let’s get into it here in today’s post.
What is a sleep prop?
Simply put, a sleep prop is anything that assists your baby to sleep.
A sleep prop or sleep crutch, as some people like to call it, is anything that your baby requires in order to fall asleep.
Sleep crutches are a normal part of human sleep, babies and adults alike. It’s totally normal for us to have items that we cannot sleep without like a pillow or a certain blanket, some need white noise, or a certain temp in the room, whatever it may be.
Seep props can be tough when your baby is heavily dependent on something to sleep, whether they are newborns or babies 4 months and up. And they often become a bigger issue or as your baby graduates the newborn stage. That’s why so many people start sleep training at around 4 months when they notice that the props they were using beforehand are now not only not working anymore but also now really hindering their baby’s sleep (and their own).
Examples of sleep props are:
Here are examples of the most common sleep props that babies rely on for sleep.
Rocking
Shushing
Pacifiers
Swaying
Bottle-feeding
Nursing to sleep
Stroller or car rides
A specific blanket or doll
etc...
So are sleep props good or bad?
Sleep props can be really good and really bad depending on the situation and on your baby. They’re good if they’re helping and they’re bad if they’re not.
Simple enough right?
What I will say is that if they aren’t working for you then they are probably not good and definitely the number one reason why your child isn’t sleeping. Yes, I said it. Please don’t hate me for it.
“So how do I know if they are working or not for my baby?”
If your baby is able to find their own comfort item or put themselves back to sleep however they have learned how, then no, sleep props aren’t bad. But if you have a baby who either cannot find his own paci or who refuses to put it back in himself and is waking up multiple times at night crying for it, then it’s ‘bad’. It’s obviously not the most ideal setup.
We want our babies to put themselves to sleep with or without their sleep props, we want them to be able to go back to sleep in the middle of the night without your help.
So that’s a good way to gage whether or not sleep props are working in your favor or not. Are they helping or hindering? Once you figure it out, you can easily decide if you want to continue down this road of constantly waking to your child helping them to sleep and back to sleep or you can create a plan of action of how you are going to eliminate the sleep props and teach your child independent sleep.
It’s up to you.
Sleep props can be broken down into 2 categories:
PARENT-CONTROLLED SLEEP PROPS
Sleep props that we have control over which our babies depend on in order to fall asleep, such as rocking, shushing, patting, feeding, etc... Appropriate for newborns who may need some extra help & comforting in the early months, and most commonly used for older babies who require assistance to sleep.
CHILD-CONTROLLED SLEEP PROPS
Sleep props that babies have control over which they can enforce on their own, such as pacifiers, finger sucking, holding a doll or blanky, etc... Applies to babies about 4 months and up who are able to self-soothe, find their comfort item and who are old enough to formally sleep train.
Sleep props aren’t working anymore, what gives?
This may come as a shock to you, so bare with me while I explain why sleep props stop working the way they once used to…
In the newborn stage you may find that sleep props help a ton with getting your baby to fall asleep, it’s an easy shush/pat, or a quick rock of the stroller, maybe a 2 second nursing, and bam, baby is asleep no problem…But often times what happens when babies graduate the newborn stage is that the things they once relied upon to get them sleeping simply don’t have the same magic anymore. What used to take 1-2 minutes, now seems like it’s taking an eternity for your little one to fall asleep.
Once out of the newborn stage, sleep props can have the opposite effect on babies. It can overstimulate and even irritate them more than actually help them to sleep. The rocking that used to take 1 minute can now take up to an hour or more and it can even make your baby feel really overstimulated.
Another huge issue with sleep props that I want to mention is that as baby gets older, their sleep cycles mature, which means they have more stages of sleep to cycle through which means more wake ups. When your baby transitions from one sleep cycle to the next, she will wake up and not have a clue how to put herself back to sleep and she will expect to be put to sleep In the same conditions that she had at the start of bedtime.
So to break it down even more, there are 3 main reasons why sleep props don’t work for your baby anymore.
AWARENESS
Your baby has a newfound awareness of everything, including how they are put to sleep, whose putting them to sleep and where they are going to sleep. So when they are put to sleep with sleep props, they wake often (due to matured sleep cycles) and require & demand the same assistance getting back to sleep that they got at the start of the night. This becomes more prevalent after the newborn stage.OVERSTIMULATION
Your baby is now becoming very overstimulated by everything you’re doing to get him to sleep. The constant rocking, shushing or nursing to sleep begins to wake them up more and overstimulate them. They often think it’s funny or amusing. This can lead to over-tiredness followed by difficulty falling asleep.TEMPERAMENT
The props you are using may not match your baby’s temperament and it may begin to irritate him more than soothe and help him. If you are rocking your baby but he just wants to be held or gently patted, then he is going to cry because he isn’t comforted by what you are doing.
Do I need to ditch our current sleep prop?
Here’s why you may need to ditch you current sleep prop and let’s use the pacifier as an example.
Pacifiers are one of the most common sleep props AND sleep disturbances.
I know, guys, this is a tough pill to swallow. No parent wants to be told that the one thing their baby needs & cherishes is also ruining their sleep…It doesn’t always interfere with sleep, but pretty darn often it does and when it’s not working anymore for your child, it’s a pretty good sign that he/she is ready to give up their sleep props and start learning how to sleep independently.
How do I go about getting rid of a sleep prop?
This is such a great question and I am going to walk you through the options.
There really are only a couple of ways to go about getting rid of sleep props.
You can eliminate sleep props cold turkey by by implementing a sleep training method while simultaneously dropping sleep props.
You can slowly wean your baby off of their current sleep prop by either introducing another temporary sleep prop with the goal in mind of eventually weaning them off of the temporary one, or by slowly decreasing your baby’s dependency on their current sleep prop.
For example: Your baby goes to sleep with a pacifier. You can slowly start to remove the paci from the baby’s mouth as he starts to doze, as this helps minimize a paci dependency. Or let’s say your baby is used to being rocked to sleep, you can slowly start scaling back on how much rocking you are doing until you are only rocking for a minute and then stepping back, allowing your baby to fall asleep on his own.
How much help is too much help when it comes to sleep props?
As I mentioned earlier in the post, sleep props aren’t all bad when they aren’t bothering you or interfering much with your child’s sleep.
I want my parents to be able to naturally and freely offer their children comfort and support at bedtime without feeling guilty like they are going to ruin their child’s sleep or like they’re doing something wrong. Again, there is nothing wrong with offering your child a bit of extra at bedtime, just try not to put them ALL the way to sleep.
EXPERT TIP:
A good rule of thumb or way to measure just how much is too much help, watch your child while you are helping or soothing them. If they have dozed while you are rocking or nursing them then you’ve likely done a bit too much. Rock for a minute until your child is calm and cozy in your arms and then stop. Step back to see what they do, give the space to fall asleep on their own.
Oftentimes it’s enough to just get them to a place of real calm and then they can do the rest on their own, however we get in their way by assuming they need a whole lot more and then going ahead and doing it all for them.
So bottom line: If your baby is used being rocked or nursed for 5 minutes till they are fully asleep, start scaling back, rock for 4 minutes, then 3, then 2 and then one…and in the process always being mindful of when your baby is starting to doze and adjust from there.
So please, please, don’t feel like you need to completely throw all of it out the window when you start sleep training. You can help your child in moderation and still offer the same quality of support and comfort without doing It all.
